Till It's Gone
by minank
Summary: Dean always hated hospital,he got it in his hateful list.when he stuck in the one for two weeks,he thought it was a worst thing happened to him.he just didn't know how much wrong he could be. HURT!Sick!DEAN and Caring!SAM../*Set in Season4*/.
1. Chapter 1

chapter 1

**tired**

Dean hated hospitals. since he was 6 years old and had ended up in the one for the broken ankle he promised himself that he was never going to like any hospitals. after that horrible car accident and his father's death, he promised himself that he was never going to stay in the one for more than a week and he had stayed on that promise , until now.

He had stuck in the hospital over a week and half and he was going crazy.I mean he had brought here for just a simple and damn appendix. they said it was a simple procedure and it did every day without side effects. they just didn't know what simple meant for the Winchester's luck.

The appendix's surgery went well or this was how the doctors thought until dean's fever gone too dangerous on the number of "105" or "106" and they forced to take him back to the OR to found out what the hell was going on.

In the meanwhile sam had gone on the total protective and dangerous mode at the same time. they saved many peoples in their life .DEAN saved many peoples in his life and this damn doctors even couldn't return a favor.

"Sam ? "

"Doctor smith, how's my brother ?" he said in one breath .

Doctor smith was a soft and bright doctor. he was always so nice with Patients and their families. he knew how to deliver news to the families even if that was a terrible news but this one, this case, he didn't know how to tell him the updates. he felt so ashamed.

Sam felt the doctor was Refusing to make eye contact with him and he felt like his heart stopped.

"Doc?" he asked with more force.

Doctor smith licked his lips."Sam, we got dean opened again and we checked for the source of infection and we found something."

"Found what ?"sam frowned.

"One of the tools of dean's last surgery was still inside of him and It had caused the fever and infection." doctor smith blurred.

"WHAT?"sam's eyes widened in shock.

Doctor smith tried to calm the poor family."I know it's a lot to take and you have every right to be angry and if you're going to punch me in the face, I'm not going to protest.."he chucked and when he saw sam still looked furious, he was back on the Professional mode." But now we got every thing on control and removed the tool, so I'm sure he's going to have a full recovery."

Sam couldn't believe him. they almost killed dean and now he was talking to him like nothing had happened before. "So you're telling me my brother almost died because your team was so reckless. It that what you're trying to say?"

"Sam ,you don't know how much sorry I am. it was one in the millions, it never had happened before."

"So I think there's a first time for everything, right?"sam said with clear Ironically in his voice.

Doctor smith sighed." We're going to do everything in our power to make dean comforty and repay our mistakes. I promise you..."

Sam cut him out."Screw your comfort, screw your teams. I will sue you."he knew it was a Spurious threat with the fake Credit cart and all, but he didn't care. what he wanted right now to kill all the hospital stuff that hurt his brother and got him out of here."I wanna move my brother to the another hospital."

"I understand but he has just got out of the surgery and his body is still weak from it. right now it will be best if you let him to be here for the overnight and then I'll help you to move your brother to someplace else."

Sam considered the doctor's advise for the seconds. dean was through a lot and he didn't want to be a reason to hurt him anymore.

"Just for the overnight and then we out of here."

Doctor smith nodded."alright, you're doing a right thing."

Sam mocked the doctor."sure like you know the right thing."doctor smith just sighed but he didn't dare to say anything.

"I wanna see him NOW."

* * *

Dean felt so tired. he knew that feeling for a long time. tired of dad's order, tired of the weights on his shoulder, tired of being burden, tired of lilith's plan, tired of broken seals, tired of sickness, tried of nasal cannula under his noise, tired of everything but now he just simply felt tired and drowned like he didn't care if the world was going to end, he just wanted to sleep it off .

"I see you look better." kristy's voice was a music in his ear. she was his nurse for this two weeks and always be nice with him even when the fever went up and he stared to talk about hell, demons and all crap. she never told anyone about it and because of that he was thankful of her.

"I always look better, I'm just tired."dean smiled.

"Well it's because of drugs, in time they're going to reduce the dose of medication then you should be feel stronger."

"Like I wanna sleep for years."dean said sleepily.

"Maybe I can help you with that."

Dean's vision stared to blur."wha..t?"

"Your welcome, dean." kristy got a pillow and brought it on dean's face and started to put pressure on it. dean tried to get free and got air to his starving lungs but in his drowning state, he knew it was useless. he promised himself that if he survived of this, add the happy pills to his hateful list. he just didn't know if he saw another day to do that and then he knew no more.

* * *

_Please R&amp;R_

_This is my first fan fiction. please be gentle with me :)_


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for everyone that followed and reviewed. your review is keep me going :)

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Chapter 2

**Let it go**

Dean opened his eyes. the monster that he was fighting, knocked him pretty bad. his mind was still fogy and his head hurt so bad. "_I hate werewolf." _he thought as suddenly his lung stopped working. It was like he had forgot how to breath. he tried harder to take a shaky breath but found out he couldn't. his vison was starting to blur and he was losing the battle with conscious so fast. he knew It was over. he was going to die in this filthy ground and no one was going to care about his death. sam had a new life, new girlfriend, new job and his dad was still chasing the demon. it was like everyone had a purpose in their life expect him. he had nothing to lose. he had to let it go.

_Let it go. Let it go it go._ What was that voice come from? was it sammy ?

_ HAVE TO LET IT GO._ He took a shaky breath. even sammy wanted him to let go. he stopped fighting.

_DEAN , DAMIN IT._ He knew what to do.

_No, no man, don't hold your breath. let it go. DEAN, FOR GOD SAKE, LET IT GO. W_hat the hell was he talking about?

_NURSE, NURSE. _Nurse?!what nurse?was I in the damn hospital?

_PLEASE, He can't breath. _No, no, don't touch me, get your hands off my face. why I suddenly hate every nurse?

_Just breath with me, in and out. I can help you with that. _the hell you can!Kristy? oh shit shit shit...sammy help me...

"I remember now, she was killing me." it was his last thought before the darkness consumed him.

* * *

The next time dean opened his eyes, every thing was so white and bright. he knew somehow either he was dead or he had got back to the damn hospital. sammy should had saved him from that crazy nurse. he preferred option two better.

"Dean, you're with me now ?" that was sammy's voice, then surely back to the hospital. maybe he got lucky this time. he turned his head so he was looking at his concern little brother. he had to warn him now. he had to warn him yesterday.

"Sam, we gotta go NOW." his voice was still weak and that oxygen mask on his face wasn't helping the situation better.

"Dean, you just came back from the LIFE SAVING surgery and you had some trouble with your breathing. you're not going anywhere."

Sam looked so old and tired, It was like he hadn't got enough sleep and not like dean blamed him, he was through a lot and that had worried his brother sick but he couldn't risk that crazy bitch, kristy, lay a hands on sam, he had to warn him.

"Well maybe because I SHOULD'NT have trouble breathing if my damn nurse wasn't too busy to hold a pillow on my face."

"Dean, what are you talking about ?" sam looked confused.

"I'm talking about my sweet and lovely nurse. I'm talking about kristy. I don't know what had got into her. I mean maybe she got possessed or she was a lunatic crazy from the get go, but I'm telling you sam she had got a pillow on my face and tried to kill me."

If dean wasn't so out of it, swore he saw sadness instead of concern in sam's eyes and that made dean angrier than before.

"Well don't get too excited, you might pull something."

Sam sighed." Dean, I was there with you when you couldn't breath. It was like you had hold your breath and you wouldn't let go. doc said you had a panic attack and don't worry, he said it was total normal considering what your body been through this last days but man, believe me when I say, kristy wasn't there to be a part of it."

_Let it go. Let it go dean. Let it go._ No it can't be that easy, dean didn't buy that.

"I wouldn't do that, that's ridicules. maybe when you guys show up, she couldn't just finish the job and that's why I was out of breath instead of whole being dead, you know ?"

Sam shakes his head." No man, she couldn't be here."

"Why? did she got fired or something?" dean become more frustrated by a seconds.

"Or something."sam whispered through his lips.

"What aren't you telling me sam ?"dean frowned.

Sam dropped his head and started to play with his hands but after a sec, when he knew dean wasn't going to let it go, he started talking.

"I didn't tell you because I know you felt pretty close with her and I didn't want to upset you." he licked his lips."about a week ago, we found out that she was in the car accident and didn't make it."

"Oh...!"dean looked at sam with shock and disbelieve.

"Yeah..I'm sorry man."

Dean narrowed his eyes. It was like he wanted to get the conclusion of all of this. after a sec he looked at sam."then his ghost is hunting my ass for a reason or a demon bitch wearing his meat suit, whatever it is we gonna..."

Sam cut him out."I talked to one of her friends, said she was cremated so there is no way she had got possessed and she had no reason to hunt you or to be link to the you ."

"So what, you're saying my mind was playing with me? that I had a illusion of her KILLING me?." he shakes his head."No sam, that was so vivid, I know the difference between reality and imagination. she was actually here and wanted me dead."

Sam nodded."Okay, if you say so man. I'm gonna head to the motel and get some salt." sam still didn't believe him, but he didn't want to make his brother more upset. normally when someone or something was hunted, he felt it too but now he knew dean was on some good drugs and his doctor mentioned sometimes they were playing with mind so he let dean to had his moment with his imagination and hopefully with time he'll back to his right mind.

When sam left the room, dean let his guard down. he closed his eyes and tried so hard not to cry. he felt so bad for the poor girl and if she couldn't move on, he was going to help him. he owned her that much. slowly he opened his eyes and let his head to rest on the pillow. he stared on the celing for the seconds and when his eyelids got too heavy, he decided to shut him out.

He was about to get his beauty sleep, when he saw something out of corner of his eyes. _Oh Shit , I'm not ready to confront her_. he looked around to find something to defend himself but found none. he was stuck in the hospital's bed alone. he gotta do something if he wanna survive until sam come back. he knew it was useless but tried to reason with her.

"Kristy, I'm so sorry about what happened to you. believe me if I could stop you from dying, I would do that gladly but I can't do that and...you can't stay here...you have to let it go or It destroyed you." the shape doesn't still make a appearance, It was like she was hiding for something. he narrowed his eyes again and begun to start new speech, when he felt something touch his heart and burning throw it. when he got a chance to looked at himself, that was a hand in his chest that squeezed his heart. the pain was Intolerable, it burning every thing, It was like having the heart attack all over again but what most horrified him, the thing that was killing him, it wasn't kristy...

It was himself. younger version of himself.

_What the hell is going on?! _that was his last thought before he welcomed the darkness.

* * *

Pease R &amp; R...


	3. Chapter 3

thanks for everyone that followed and reviewed. your reviews is like Honey in my mouth..:)

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chapter 3

**Lost  
**

_Dean looked so angry. after his dad's death, he was like another person, just wanted to kill something or hurt one. he couldn't focus on anything expect hunting, he got sam on this nonstop hunt just to ease the pain. sam normally said nothing, just let him had his moment and deal with grief but after what happened in Angela's dad's house he thought with himself that enough was enough, dean had to control his anger or he was going to control it for him so he gave dean his most Innocent puppy dog eyes and begun to speak._

_"You don't have to handle this on your own. No one can."_

_"Sam , If you bring up dad's death one more time..."sam cut him out._

_"Dean,it's killing you. Please. We've already lost dad. We lost mom. I've lost jessica...And now I'm gonna lose you,too?"_

_Dean sighed, he didn't look angry anymore, just tired and young and sam felt so sorry for him that he had to carry all of this crap all by own, he just wished that he let him help."sammy?"_

_Sam smiled."yeah, dean?"_

_"You can't save everyone."then he put a knife to his throat and sliced it._

_"NOOOOOOOO..." sam didn't have time to react as dean's limp body dropped to ground._

Sam jerked awake with a gasp. his heart was beating so fast and sweat was all over his face. he didn't have time to recover from it when suddenly his cellphone begun to ring. he looked on the screen and when he saw hospital's number, felt like all of his world begun to crash on him.

"Yeah?." _IT'S NOT ABOUT DEAN, IT'S NOT ABOUT DEAN, IT'S NOT ABOUT DEAN.. _

"Mr. Johnson?."_IT'S NOT ABOUT DEAN, IT'S NOT ABOUT DEAN, IT'S NOT ABOUT DEAN.._

"Yeah , that's me."_IT'S NOT ABOUT DEAN, IT'S NOT ABOUT DEAN, IT'S NOT ABOUT DEAN.._

"I'm caling because of your brother's condition."_ no no no no no no..._

"What ? is he okay ?"_ please be okay..please be okay..please be okay.._

"Can you please come over as soon as you can?"_not good, not good, not good.._

"Please just tell me is he okay?" he swallowed the bile in his throat."is he alive ?"

"he's alive but something had happened and her doctor wanted to talk to you, so if you can..."sam cut her out without a second thought.

"I'm coming."_Dean I'm coming, just hold on.._

The trip to the hospital was a blur for sam. he didn't even know how he manage to run to dean's room less than a seconds, he just knew he did it. he was about to open the door when a female doctor did it for him and got out of dean's room. she was a tall woman with a blue eyes and dark hair. if sam wasn't so nervous right now, said she was totally dean's type.

The doctor smiled politely."Well if It wasn't for the worry on your face, I would say you are a second handsome man that I met today. lucky me."

"How's my brother..and where is his own doctor?"did she just hit on him?sam REALLY didn't have time for this.

"Let me introduce myself first and then we get to your brother part."she held out her hand and sam shook it."I'm doctor Ford and I'm attending your brother from now on. before you ask, Doctor smith fired last night, he was the lead doctor on your brother's surgery and hospital found him responsive for what happened to dean but I assure you I'm nothing like him and for what is worth, I think what happened to him was for the best."

Sam clenched his jaw."Doc, with all of my respect I really give a RAT ASS about who stayed or left, I just wanna know how's my brother doing?"

She raised his eyebrow."So, you are the one of them."sam ignored him and she sighed."why don't you take a seat over here and I'll discuss your brother's condition with you."

sam reluctantly take a seat as she sat beside him.

"Mr. Johnson..um..do you mind If I call you sam ?

Sam mentally rolled his eyes but in realty nodded. _God! spill it out already.._

"Something happened with dean last night. the nurse on duty found him when he was scratching his chest and he won't stop until we forced to give him sedative to prevent him from hurting more. luckily the damage was not too serious, we Stitched the open wounds and tied him to the bed until we make sure he won't hurt himself again." she stopped talking to give sam some time to process everything.

Sam couldn't believe what he was hearing. dean was tied to the bed, like a wounded animal. that wasn't dean, dean never hurt himself not if something or someone was playing with his mind or maybe dean was right and something was hunting him. whatever it was, sam had determined to found out , he wasn't going to lose dean, not after his car accident, not after hell, not now and never again, that was a promise that he told himself that he kept it for the rest of his life."I wanna see him."

The doctor tried to reason with him."Sam, we have to talk about his mental heath. he can't.."

Sam cut him out. "Oh about it, I want dean out of restrain , NOW." sam really tried not to punch her in the face .

She hold the hand in front of her chest."first it's not wise and second If I even wanted, the hospital's policy doesn't let me to remove the restrain, not until a psychologist ensure his mental state."

"Oh come on, where was hospital's policy when a surgery's tool was in my brother's chest for two damn week, huh?."doctor ford looked at the ground but she didn't say anything."you have two option here doc. one, you're going to get him out of this damn restrain nice and quiet...and two, I'm going to move my brother from this place with or without your consent." he looked dangerous on her and when he saw fear in her eyes, he continued."and believe me, you don't really like a option two here. so what do you say doc ?"

When sam entered dean's room, his felt like his heart stopped. dean looked miserable, that was dark circle under his eyes and sweet on his hand and his face. there was two IV at the back of his hands and a nasal cannula helped him with breath. he was thankful, doctor Ford made two ordinary remove the restrain, that way at least dean seemed more like dean. he was siting on this damn chair for two hours and his hips felt like shit but he wasn't going to leave dean, not until he'll make sure that his brother was safe enough. he was lost in his thought when dean made a stir and opened his eyes.

Sam grabbed one of dean's hand, the one without the IV and tried not to let the worry on his face. "Dean, you're okay?"

Dean looked confused, he rubbed his eyes."I'm fine, just dizzy." then put a hand on his chest and frowned."and my chest hurts like hell. Sam, what the hell happened?"

Sam's heart skipped a bit when he saw dean didn't remember everything but he tried to hide it with a fake smile." you're getting old, bro?"when dean didn't answer him, his worry increased."what do you remember?"

dean was rubbing his eyes again."everything was so fuzzy, I think Kristy's ghost was hunting my ass and then...and then.."he stopped himself like he couldn't put a finger on something.

Sam frowned."and then what?"

Dean's eyes widened ."and then... I saw myself."

Sam raised his eyebrow."you saw yourself?"

Dean shakes his head."not myself like myself, I was ten or something and then this version of me got my heart and tried to ripped it from my chest...sam what the hell is going on ?"

Dean looked so lost, he looked at sam like sam knew everything and sam's heart broke when he couldn't return his brother's trust, when his brother was in pain and he was useless in there but he promised himself that he was going to save him whether it was a supernatural case or not, sam was going to save his brother or die trying. he owned him that much, actually he owned him more but only something a man can do.

"Alright dean, don't worry, whatever it is we figure out. I got a salt from the motel, I'm going to put it around your bed and then doing some research to found out what hunting you or playing with you and then we're going to show that little bastard that it screw up with the wrong peoples and send him back where it belong...what do you say big brother?"sam asked with proud.

Dean smirked."that you are a geek."

Sam chuckled."jerk"

"Bitch."

Sam raised to his feet."alright, I'm going to get my laptop and salt from the car. do you think you can stay out of trouble for five Minutes?"

Dean rolled his eyes."I was born with trouble, just get the hell out of here." sam chuckled and left the room.

True to be told sam came back from the car five minutes later but what he saw wasn't something that he expected.

That was a activity in dean's room, everyone was screaming at each other and doctor ford was telling order and in the between that was dean laying with blood dropping from his head. Quickly, sam put a laptop and salt on the desk and approached to dean's bed.

"What's wrong with him?what happened?"sam demanded.

It was like everyone ignored him, even doctor ford was lost in her job, until one of the nurse noticed him and put a hand on his chest. "sir, please stay back, let us do the work and then the doctor comeback to you with the details."

Sam clenched his jaw."just tell me what's going on? he was fine five Minutes ago, what just happened."?

The nurse bit his lips."sir, it's not in my position..."

Sam cut him out angrily."just tell me,dammit."

The nurse sighed."his head had been knocked to the wall repeatedly...by himself."

Sam's eye widened in shock."WHAT?" he started to protest."No, he wouldn't do that, It could be.."sam's word was cut out by one of the nurse's voice and what he saw was worse than what he heard.

"he's having a seizure."

Sam watched in horror as dean's body jerked in convulsions as blood started to drop from his noise and his mouth.

_How much_ is it _gonna get worse?!_Sam thought with fear as nurses shut him out of the room.

* * *

_So what do you think ?Should I get dean out of his misery ? Like always I'll be happy to hear your thought..:)_


	4. Chapter 4

Special thanks to South of Eden,Callisto-HK,DearHart,happy sara,qteallex for their wonderful reviews and everyone had followed the story.

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Chapter 4

**Hero  
**

After a long time,today was a first day that dean was feeling better. I mean recently the relationships between the brothers weren't so good,they always found something to fight about and he blamed it all on ruby. she manipulated sam in every way that he could think of and every time sam didn't listen to him. she said that she could save him from hell which she couldn't and now she came back with the crap speech about saving humans and using sam's ability.._yeah saving is my ass..._

He rubbed his eyes. his chest was still hurting and he was still confused with the things that recently happened,he just hoped that his geek brother found a solution and got him out of here. he had a bad feeling about it,It was like things were going to get worse expect being better.

Suddenly he found himself that he was looking at someone...someone that he thought,he'll never see him again.

"Dad?"

John approached the bed and sat on it beside of dean."hello son."

Dean couldn't believe his eyes,after this whole years his dad was still alive and now he was siting beside him..no,no,something was wrong..maybe...just maybe he didn't get the whole picture here,maybe..just maybe...

"Dad,am I dead?"dean whispered.

John didn't smile and that freaked dean more."No son,you're not dead."

Dean was about to sighed in relief when john spoke again."but you're not living either."

Dean frowned."What are you talking about,dad?."

John raised from the bed and shakes his head."look at yourself, you're living in borrow time..the time that wasn't for you in the first place."he put his right hand on his chest."that was my time dean...MY TIME..and you stole it..YOU STOLE MY LIFE."

Dean was speechless, he could feel the tears on his face and he had no energy to wipe it. he shakes his head."I'm sorry,dad..I'm so sorry."

John said angrily."Sorry is not going to bring my life back. I give my life to you and you wasted it..I am so sorry for having a son like you."

Dean shakes his head again,he couldn't control the tears anymore."no,no,dad...i'm so sorry..i'm so sorry.i didn't want to..i'm so sorry."

John smirked."You will be more sorry when I take it back from you."

Dean had just enough time to see his head in his father's hands and then he felt like his head exploded and no more expect darkness..

* * *

Sam was pacing the waiting room for two hours and when his long legs started to protest from the lake of comfort,he took a seat and waited more. last time he saw dean, that wasn't good. he was laying motionless on the bed with a ambu bag to help him breath and then they took him for CT scan and more check up..._why still no one is telling me anything?what if dean was dead?what if he get brain damage?what if he fell in coma?..no,no,no,don't think like that_..he was about to ask a nurse again,when doctor ford came toward him.

"How is he?."

"Well,that was close."she took a deep breath."We stitched the wound on his head and checked him for more injures but found none. luckily the CT's result came back clean,so we're not worry for the brain damage or a long term heath care."

"What about the seizure and the whole bloods thing?."sam asked with worry.

She shakes his head."Honestly we're not sure what was causing it,it could be some reaction to the head injury or could be something else,anyhow we got him on seizure medication to avoid something like this from happening."

Sam nodded."So,he's going to be okay,right?"

Doctor ford sighed."Physicality yes,he's going to be just fine."sam sighed in relief."but his mental heath,not so much."

Sam frowned."you think he wanted to kill himself?"_oh hell, what you're bringing yourself into dean..what's going on with you..._

"I know it's hard to accept for many families but it's a fact,sam. you have to accept it so we can help him,so you can help him."

Sam tried to reason with her."no,you don't understand. dean is not suicidal,he's a most strongest person that I know."

She kindly smiled."sometimes even a hero needs a hero to help him...or save him."

Sam shakes his head."No,you don't know dean."

she raised his eyebrows"Do you?"

"What?.. off course I know,I'm his brother,I'm with him 24/7."

Doctor ford wasn't ready to drop the subject and it meant they're totally screwed."Did he recently suffer from the horrible accident?"

_I have a list for you..hell for starter..._"no,everything was fine before I bring it to this damn hospital."sam lied.

"Does he tell you about his pain or talk about his problems?"

_Dean and talking,not so much._"we tell each other everything"he lied again."look doctor, I appreciate your help,I really do,but dean is not good with the hospital and I think the soon as he got out of this place, the better chance he has to improve."

She hesitated."Sam, I can't let you...you knew the protocol..."

Sam cut her out."you want him to get better,right?...I'm telling you it's the only way...and from what I see in your eyes,you're not a protocol doctor..you just want the best for you patient and it's the best,believe me. let us go."_nice sam,you know how to hit the girl.._

Doctor ford sighed."I know you are the one of them from the get go."sam smiled."we'll have dean for the overnight to make sure and then I'll let you two to get out of here. I'm just hoping that I'm not wrong here."

"You're not. I promise you."

"And sam,I didn't use any restrain on him but I gave him a strong sedative to calm him for hours,so he shouldn't be awake any time soon."

"It's ok and thank you...about a restrain".

Doctor ford nodded."Take care of your brother, sam."

"believe me,I will."sam said with confidence.

The rest of day,sam put salts around dean's bed and he sat in the chair beside his unconscious's brother and begun to research. that was something going on with dean and he was going to find out,no matter what.

After hours staring on the screen,his eyelids got too heavy and he fell on the restful sleep. he didn't know how much time passed but he knew he heard something. something like "hp" or "hlp" or..."help"..._Oh my god, Dean.._

Quickly he came back to the land of living and opened his eyes,looked for any treat that was going to hurt his brother...suddenly his eye's widened in shock and he screamed Dean's name.

_NO,NO,NO,NO,THIS IS'NT HAPPENING..._

Dean was awake and still lying in the bed while doctor ford had stood beside him,but that wasn't what was wrong with the picture..

The thing was doctor ford's big eyes and the hands around her neck that was choking him..

That was his brother's hands...

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_So what do you think ?_

_Should I keep going?tell me your thought...:)_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**Moment of True**

Sam watched in horror that dean was choking doctor ford...W_hat the hell..._Quickly he jerked to action and got up from the chair.

"Dean,what the hell are you doing?"

Dean seem like didn't noticed him and that freaked Sam more. he knew he had to do something before dean do something silly,So he forced to control everything in his hand.

"Dean,snap out of it..you're killing her."S_o not working,then I think I have to do it in the Old Fashioned Way.._

"Sorry about it."sam said as he punched dean in the face. dean fell unconscious and his hand released from her neck,doctor ford fell on his knees and was gasping for air...meanwhile sam placed his hand on dean's neck and when he felt a strong pulse,sighed in relief.

After what seems like hours,Dr ford stood again.

"Are you okay?."sam asked.

"I was choking to the death,what do you think?"she said Sarcastically.

"Sorry,Stupid question...can I do anything for you?"

"Well,for starter you can signed your brother to the mental hospital,he isn't in his right mind and something tell me he wasn't for a long time. I know you're trying to protect him but it's not right. he's a danger to himself and everyone around him."

Sam wanted to talk more when dean's voice brought their attention to him."Get the hell out of her,you black eyed son of a bitch."

Sam eyed widened in shock as realization hit him."christo."

Dr ford didn't flinch but she got angrier than before."you're both are crazies..I'm going to call security to move you two to the mental hospital.."now sam knew that he fell on one of the other dean's hallucination and if only dean was screwed before, now both of them earned themselves a bed in the mental hospital...dean wasn't helping the situation better when he spoke again..

"Yeah,do that not before my geek brother send you back to hell.."dean said then he looked at sam."Sam?"

"Dean shut up."sam raised a hand on her chest to stop her."Please don't do this,I know he isn't in his right mind now...but before you do anything just let me talk to him then if he didn't get better,I let you do whatever you want to do with him..please just give us a sec..please.."he tried to show her the most puppy dog eyes that he can got..

"Sam,what the hell are you talking about? you want to let her go..SHE'S A DEMON,SAM...what's got into you?"

"I should ask you the same thing,just shut up and let me handle this."then he looked at her."we're not a bad guys here,please just give us a minute."

Doctor ford sighed."alright,I won't tell anyone about this,but I want him to be evaluate by a shrink at the end of day."and then she left the room.

"Sam tell me,you're not listening to her."sam sighed and sat on the chair beside him as dean shakes his head."Now I get it,that bitch was a brain of operation from the get go and you let her leave. nice sam,I guess you have feeling for every demon that you met."

Sam felt the blood rage from his vein."what's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know sam,you tell me what's going on between you two?"dean narrowed his eyes.

"Dean,nothing is between us...why don't you get what I'm saying?I don't know what you saw earlier but she's not demon,I mean you saw her when I said christo...she didn't flinch..."

"Sam,I know what I saw..she was a black eyed demon and wanted me dead,I don't know what kind of spell that she got into you that you couldn't see her but I saw her with my own eyes"

"Like you saw Kristy or yourself.."sam said with sadness.

"Sam,I'm not crazy."dean said angrily.

"Dean,I'm not saying that you are."he took a deep breath."ever since you came back from hell,you're not yourself...It's like you're barely holding on and now you're seeing thing..."

Dean rubbed his eyes with anger"It has nothing to do with my time in hell."

"Man,if there was something out here,I should see it too..look,you're been in alot of pressure these past days,and you're been in hell before..you're not strong enough and I'm here to..."

"Get out."Dean cut him out.

"Dean..."

"I said,GET OUT."Dean screamed.

Sam knew that dean finally lost it,he couldn't reason with him anymore. he needed help and he needed yesterday so he just sighed and left the room. when he reach the waiting room,he take a seat and dialed a number.

_"Yeah?" _

"Bobby,it's sam."

_"Sam...long time no see..how's you boys doing?"_

Sam drag his hands in his long hair and sighed."Not so good,Bobby."

_"what is it sam?are you okay?...is dean okay?"_

"I am but dean's not."

_"Tell me what happened sam ?"_

"I can't explain it on the phone, we just needed someplace to crash...Is it okay with you if we come to your place?"

_"You don't need to ask,just get your sorry ass here."_

Sam smiled."thanks,Bobby."

"_idjit.." _and the line went dead.

now he had to find a way to move his brother from here before anyone found out..

* * *

Dean was angry and sorry and so sleepy at the same time. they just gave him a sedative which felt like paralyzed..he had just started to Suspect his sanity,I mean he saw with his eyes that she was a demon and then she wasn't and if sam was right then he was so screwed,he tried to choke a innocent woman with his bare hands...oh god,what he had become and now even sam left him and they were going to tie him to the bed and drug him for the rest of his life. maybe he deserved that..maybe he was a danger to others..he was a danger to sam...he was lost in his thought when he heard someone opened the door._.SAMMY didn't leave him..little brother to the rescue,right..._

"Sammy.."he smiled.

"I'm afraid not.."he saw doctor ford entered the room and he sighed deeply._.sammy left him and they want to take him to the nuthouse..oh GOD.._

"You're not going to choke me again,are you?"she smiled as dean shakes his head."Where is sam?"_  
_

She approached the bed and stood in front of him."We're not officially introduced before,I'm doctor Ford."

Dean ignored her."Where is sam?"

She rolled her eyes."your brother has just left the building...for now but I'm sure he'll come back soon."dean nodded as she continued."That's why I don't have much time".

Dean frowned."Time for what?"

She took off a syringe from his pocket and smirked. dean's eyes widened when he saw what she was holding."what are you gonna do with that?you can't take me from here without my brother's consent.."

"And who said I need your brother's consent?"her smirk got wider.

"This is illegal.."dean insisted.

Doctor ford chuckled."illegal..where do you think you're going dean?..I don't think a trip to the hell needs permission."

Dean shakes his head."no,no,no,I'm not going to fall for this again..This is a hallucination."

"Poor dean...you don't even know the difference between a reality or hallucination..the drugs that I gave you this two weeks must screw your head pretty bad."

Dean frowned."You?...you were behind of it this whole time?...you drugged me?.."he shakes his head."Fucking demons..I'm gonna kill every one of you.."

"Wow,slow down cowboy..."she raised her eyebrow."you believe in demons...I don't even know why I drugged you...you were full of shit."

"If you're not a demon,what's your beef with me?"

"Nothing's personal...just Money..alot of moneys...I had a deal with someone...all I had to do to keep you here for more than days" she licked her lips"good thing Doctor smith was so careless, he didn't even know how I left that tool inside you during the surgery... and then when you were like a puppy,give you happy pills..finally we have a crazy dean winchester that want to kill himself.."

"What happened for doctor smith?how did you give me that pills without his consent?"

She smiled."I had his trust.. even slept with him. we were like a love couples..so sometimes I took care of his prescriptions...That was a good time, back there until it wasn't."she apporched dean more and dean flinched.

"Until he found out everything and I had to kill him.."she said with the sad eyes..._Did she has a heart?give me a break.._

Dean knew in his drugged state,he couldn't do anyting..he just had to buy some times until his brother come back."You're crazy,you know that?...you don't know what you brought yourself into..with whatever that you made this deal...it isn't a good thing."

She laughed loudly."Come on,dean..he want you dead.. off course he's not an angel.."_I hope he's not an angel..angels were dicker.._

"Don't do this...Killing me is not worth ruining your life..you might even get yourself killed..stop it when you can and me and sam forget what you had done to me and never bother you again.."_Castiel..if you are somewhere..this is the best time that you can show up your ass.._

She brought a syringe to dean's neck and begun to inject it.."sleep well , handsome.."

* * *

Only 2 or 3 chapters left...

I don't know if I can update any time soon but I do my best...:)


	6. Chapter 6

_Like always Thanks to all who have reviewed or followed my story..here's a new chapter..enjoy. :)_

* * *

Chapter 6

**You can't handle the truth**

After the last fight between the brothers,sam thought it was better if he let him to be alone for awhile and then he'll try to settle things between them so he went to the coffee trial and ordered something. after 15 minutes,he couldn't take it anymore. he had to come back to his brother and be with him,I mean if something like this happened to him,dean never going to leave his side for a sec and now the table had been reversed this is how he was giving to him..he felt ashamed for even leaving him in the first place. G_ather yourself together sam, being sorry doesn't solve anything.._

He was about to leave the place,when something cut his hearing.

"I knew Doctor Smith for a long time. I still can't believe he's dead.." the other nurse shakes his head as she played with her food.

_Dr smith was dead..What the hell?_sam couldn't control his curiously."Excuse me,mam?"

The other nurse that was still playing with her food raised her head and smiled."Can I help you?"

Sam smiled politely."Actually I was hoping you do..I..um..accidentally overheard your conversation..you said something about Dr smith's death,Is that correct?"

The grief filled the nurse's eyes."Did you know him,dear?"

"He was my brother's doctor before he got fired."

She frowned."I think you misunderstand him with someone else...he was an excellent doctor,he never got fired in his life."

Sam had a feeling that they were talking about a same doctor so he decided to get the bottom of the whole things."Are we talking about a tall,bright guy,with a blue eyes in around late thirty as...general surgeon?."

She hesitated for a sec,then she said with anger."after what he had done for this hospital,I can't believe there's still peoples who they insulted his memory."she shakes her head."no,young man...he disappeared three days ago..no one know what had happened to him,It was like he vanished through the air."she swallowed hard and tears started to appear in her eyes."and today they found his body in some trash place. they said he had injected with some deathly strange drugs."the tears was drooping from his eyes one by one and her friend gave her a tissue."I don't know who could do something like this to him...this man had no enemy..everyone loved him."

_Oh shit..shit..shit..._Sam couldn't control the tick tick bomb of his heart or the bile in his throat,he just knew he had to get to his brother before some tragedy happened, So he excused himself and run to dean's room..

He was there less than a seconds and when he opened the door,his breath cut in his throat.

Dr ford was about to inject something in dean's neck and worse than that were dean's fearful eyes which were screaming for help.._his brother's help_. sam cursed himself for not getting sooner. quickly he brought his gun from his pocket and pointed it on Dr Ford and closed the door behind him."Stop what you're doing..or I swear to god I'll shoot you in the head."

Dr ford eye's widened in shock when he saw sam had pointed a gun on her face but she tried to remain calm."Sam,what are you doing?how did you get the gun?are you out of your mind like your brother?..I'm just giving him a sedative."

Dean sighed in relief when he saw his brother..his savor..his sammy always found a way to get to him."Sammy I get back what I said before,I'm so happy to see you and...if you still have a little fate on me... believe me when I'm saying,this isn't a medication for joy."

"Sam,don't listen to him,you said it yourself he's not in his right mind..don't let him take you down with him...just drop the gun and we'll forget what happened here."

Sam didn't drop his gun,he wasn't ready to fall for any of her lies."How did you kill doctor smith?...did you inject it with something that you're trying to inject dean with?"

Suddenly Dr ford started laughing."So they found his body,I was wondering when they figure out..Cuz you know I hided it pretty well.."

Sam felt regretful that he stopped dean from choking her last time."Why?...why you wanna kill dean?."

She just smiled."I already told your handsome brother about it ..."then she looked at his hateful eyes."You can ask him...when you join him in the hell."

Without warning she pushed the plunger down and expelling the liquid in dean's system..

"NOOOOOOO..."sam screamed as he ran to dean's side and pushed her out of the way. dean's eyes were widen in shock and he was choking pretty bad.

Sam tried to soothe him."no no dean,stay with me..It's going to be okay..I'm going to fix it..I'm not going to lose you again..please don't leave me."but dean didn't get better,the alarms that were buzzing in his ears,weren't get slower and his sad eyes didn't get any brighter."WHAT DID YOU GIVE TO HIM,YOU BITCH?"he turned around just to see no one was in the room anymore. he was so much cut up with his grief that he didn't notice she had ran away.._she had ran away and I let him..very silly move, sam and peoples say I'm the smart one._

Suddenly the alarms around dean stopped screaming and dean wasn't choking anymore. he wasn't doing anything at all..

"Dean,no,no,no...please come back..please..Dean..please. I'm so sorry I didn't believe you...I'm so sorry." the tears were falling from sam's eyes one by one but he wasn't ready to give it up and he never will be. he was about to do mouth to mouth when someone pushed him out of the way and when he found himself stood in the back at the wall,he knew medical stuff had been arrived and they were going to make thing right...right?!

"charge 250..."

"still nothing.."

"push another mill of epi..."

"charge 300.."

_come on..come on dean..come on..._

"still nothing..."

_you can't go..not now..not never.._

"NO change...starting CPR.."

_CASTIEL...CASTIELL...YOU SON OF BITCH.._

"still nothing..."

_NO...NO...NO...NO...NO.._

"Alright...stop everything...I'm calling it..."

_DON'T YOU DARE..YOU HEAR ME..DON'T YOU DARE.._

"Time of Death 3:45 AM"

_Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo..._

* * *

"Dean,remember a time when I was five and broke the dad's favorite glass...he never told us why he loved that thing so much but we were guessed that it had do something with our mom..anyway when I broke it , dad was in the hunting trip..you told me to shut the hell up and you figured something out and you did..you went to the every shop store in the town and finally bought it...dad didn't notice at the first but when he found out..he got furies...I was so scared and was hiding under the sheet until you stepped up and got the blame on yourself..I think it was a first time that dad hit us and he hit it pretty bad..."a tear dropped from sam's eyes.."You saved my life all and all over again and I couldn't even save you for one time..I think that's why everyone left me..Dad...Mom...Jess...and now You...I can't live with your death too...I find a way to fix it..I swear to god.."

After the doctors called the time of death,they let the brothers alone to have his privacy or should I say let sam alone to deal with his grief and said goodbye to his dead brother. luckily they were all cut up with the whole situation that they didn't notice sam with a gun..

And now,after 15 minute passed,sam had still sat beside of his dead brother holding his hands and was thinking about a way to bring him back..

He kissed dean on the forehead as whispered something with apology to his ears and was about to get him out of here when suddenly something unexpected happened..

Dean opened his eyes and was looking at him.

"Dean...Oh my God...Dean.."Sam eye's widened with surprise and a big grin appeared on his face."man,I can't believe it..you're actualy here..and alive...I know you said no chick flick moment..but man.." he kissed him again on the forehead.."I'm so happy to see you again..."

When dean still didn't say anyting and continued to look blindly to sam,that had sam worry."Dean,what is it?can you hear me?"

"Sam.."he coughed once."we need to get out of here before anyone comeback."

Sam nodded."course..can you sit up?do you need me to help you?"

Dean coughed again."it will be nice if you help me.."Sam nodded and helped his brother to sit up. he was scared that dean was admitting his weakness but what he scared him worse,was a things that he said afterward."I'm not very good with this body yet."

Sam's eyes widened."Dean,who do you think you are?"

Dean sighed."I'm sorry,sam..I was so confused that I forgot,I haven't introduced myself..I know It must be so strange to you and you may think I'm losing my mind but I'm..um..I'm not your brother."

"Who are you?"sam frowned.._Not again.._

He hesitated."I'm ...I'm Doctor Smith...and I know how to bring your brother back."

* * *

_well..well..well..If I killed dean..you guys were killing me...and I love to stay alive..(big grin)_

_So There's a way to save dean or Is there?!follow us at the next chapter to find out..and don't forget to share your thought with me..:)_


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks to all who had reviewed or followed and Favorited my story...

* * *

_I'm blind from the tears that fall like rain_

_So lost ever since you went away_

_Sometimes our lives forever change_

_My heart's never gonna be the same_

_Cause you came_

_And you gave me, a place_

_Place to live, where to play_

_Why you take it away?_

_You never know what you got till it's gone_

* * *

Chapter 7

**You never know what you got till it's gone**

He hesitated."I'm ...I'm Doctor Smith...and I know how to bring your brother back."

Sam's heart was beating so fast that he thought it could jump from his chest. he had a horrible idea that maybe his brother had gone for good. immediately he washed the idea from his brain and promised himself that he was going to save dean, period. first thing first,he had to make sure,the thing which possessed his brother's body was even Dr smith's spirit otherwise they'll be in lot of trouble than they were right now.

Slowly,he backed away from the thing that was wearing his brother's body and stood in front of it."If you are the one that you're saying you are,then what was the last thing that you said to me?"

The thing raised dean's eyebrows."what?...now it's not the best time for twenty questions games...we don't have much time...we have to get the hell of here before someone comeback and see your brother's dead body talking and walking."

"We're getting out of here as soon as you answer me."_It's time to talk turkey and quit messing around._

The thing sighed."I can't recall the exact words,but it was about dean's last surgery and our big mistake during it...you were so angry and wanted him to be discharge right away."it smiled."then I used my mojo spell on you and finally you agreed to keep him for the overnight...now did I passed the test?"

"Not quietly."sam brought a flask from his pocket and gave it to it."Drink it."

The thing grinned."thanks,but I think I'm fine...well actually I'm far from being fine with all dead thing going on..."

Sam clenched his jaw."just drink it,I have to make sure you're not demon either."

It snored."demon?...I still can't believe how cool you take the whole ghostly situation and now you're talking about the demons?"when sam didn't answer it and continued to stare blankly on him, it gave it up and drink some of the holly water."Satisfied?"

"For now."Sam take back the flask and put it back in its place."so tell me how can you save dean?"

He rolled his eyes."I thought we were done with the whole twenty questions games...Sam, the more times you're wasting, the better a chance he'll not recover from all of this."

He frowned."he's still in there?"he said with hope."dean's alive?"_say yes,say yes,say yes..._

"Barely."he shakes his head."the poison had been given to him,It doesn't kill its victim straightaway...It just slow the heart beat and breathing in a way that even medical monitoring devices can't detect that...I haven't seen something like this before so I Think, it was made by her and she should has a antidote."

sam raised his eyebrow."You think?!"

He gave him a sad smile."well,I hope...I mean, she's not an idiot...she knows well that she has to make herself an insurance when the shit hits the fan."

Sam nodded."Alright,let's just hope she's not a complete idiot."he hesitated for a sec then he asked."how long do we have before...um..before.."

"His heart stop?... not long that means we have to go now."

"Okay...but you're going to tell me everything on the way Dr smith."

He smiled."fine by me...and please call me jack."

* * *

The trip to the Dr ford's house was not a silent trip. sam was like a dog with a bone,always asking question and demanding for answer and luckily Dr smith's spirit was patience enough to answer every one of them.

"So you and her were in love?"sam was driving while staring on the road and in the meantime there was Dr smith's spirit with his brother body that was siting in the passenger seat of the impala. sam couldn't bring himself to look at dean's face,It was like everytime that he looked at him,a fire will put in his heart.

he sighed."I was before she killed me."

Sam frowned."Why did she kill you?"

He flew off the handle."cause I was an idiot..I trused him and she betrayed me."he tried to control his anger and sighed."I was in my office and was checking your brother's test result when I came to the strange thing..some of numbers weren't right...it was like someone was giving him a wrong medicine. like I said before,sometimes she handled some of my prescriptions so I thought she had a reason for this...I paged her to my office and I think that was the stupidest thing that I've ever done in my life...

_Three days ago- Dr smith's office_

_Dr ford opened the room."what is it jack?I have less than fifteen minuses before the surgery,so you better make it quick."_

_Jack didn't say anything, just raised from his seat and gave her test result which she got the papers reluctantly."what is it?you need a console or something?"_

_Jack pointed a finger at the papers."just look at it,Tara.."_

_Tara grinned widely and touched right side of his face."oh my handsome man...this isn't about a test result,isn't it?...somebody needs a hug.."she closed her face to him and whispered."or a kiss.."?__."_

_She was about to kiss him when jack backed away which put a sad face on her face."what is it, jack?...don't you want me anymore?"  
_

_Jack held his hands to stop him from talking more."stop...stop playing around...I trusted you to take control of everything and now this is how you give to me ?with giving patient the wrong medicine which could be leads to the horrible consequences."_

_She looked surprised and offended."you are impossible.."she raised his eyebrows and pointed her finger at herself."you think I can do something horrible to someone...that I am a killer.."she shakes her head and tears started to gather in her eyes."I can't believe you're saying this to me.."_

_Jack felt bad for her, he wasn't hundred percent sure that she did this but he couldn't help himself to not get angry so he turned away from her and looked at the ground."Tara..I.."he shakes his head."I want to be honest with me...I..."he couldn't bring himself to say another word._

_"I know what you're thinking."Tara whispered as she was taking a step toward him."that maybe...just maybe...I have a cold heart in my chest...but you have to know it's a shame...when you're pointing your finger on someone else."_

_"What?"jack was about to turn around when he felt something like pinch in his neck and her whispering in his ear."The blame is on you too."and then everything went black."_

Present

Jack sighed."I don't know how she manged to move my body or where she put it...I just know I wake up out of my body and some angle chick wanted to send me to lala-land."

"Reapers."sam corrected."so you didn't go with it because you had some unfinished bushiness...like saving dean."that was a statement.

"She said their blood on my hands too...I couldn't let her to kill anybody else and I couldn't stop her from killing dean either."

"Dean is not dead."sam cut him out.

Jack smiled."you guys were pretty close, isn't it?

Sam thought about a near time when they actually were pretty close with each other and couldn't recall it. _what a shame..._ever since dean had brought back from hell,all they did was hurting each other or all he did was hurting his brother,his mentor,the one had gone to hell for him,the one that sacrificed his life for him."we were...but I let him down."

Jack looked at him."hey,the blame is not on you..you couldn't guess she could do something like this to your brother...If anybody should take a blame on itself is me."

Sam shakes his head."no,you don't understand,you don't know our lives...this is not the first time that I let him down."he sighed."a while ago something hurt him pretty bad.._were ripped to the shreds by the hell hounds_..I didn't think that I could see him again and when I did...I never thought that I was so going to cut up with my revenge that I'm going to forget about him.."he swallowed the bile in his throat."well,I guess you never know what you got..."

"Till It's gone."he completed it for him."yeah,I know the feeling...but sam, dean hasn't gone yet...he's hanging in there for you...and you should do the same thing."

Sam gave him a sad smile and after a sec raised his eyebrow."What kind of doctor you are,again?"

Jack chuckled."a dead one,I guess."he frowned when he saw where he was."Sam,we're here."

Sam parked the impala in the back yard of Dr ford's house and then killed the engine."Are you ready for this?"

He nodded."I was ready since I died."

Less than two minute,they were in the house with gun blazing, determined to find her but in the end they found none. sam felt like his blood could boil any seconds,he angrily put his gun on the desk and shakes his head."that bitch..she knew,we will come after her here."

Jack sighed."I'm sorry sam..like I said before, she's not an idiot..that was a fair chance that we find her in her house.." he put a hand on sam's shoulder."but don't worry,I know another place that she has..hopefully she will be in there."

Sam nodded and put his gun in his pocket."alright,let's go now."_she better be there tonight or I'm going to burn the world only to find her.._

"Not so fast, gentleman..."They just had enough time to turn around to see her holding a gun pointed at them.

"Tara.."jack whispered.

Her eyes were hateful and so far away."No one can take my money from me."she screamed."Dean Winchester has to die."

and then she fired.

* * *

_Sorry guys..I can't help myself...coming up more hurt dean at the next chapter..._


	8. Chapter 8

_hey guys.._

_Sorry that I couldn't update sooner. I had a lot of thing going on lately but I'm back now..so here's a new chapter. Enjoy :)_

* * *

Chapter 8

**Good Man  
**

So many things happened in the same time. they were about to leave the place when Tara came from no where and pointed a loaded gun to Dean. sam watched in horror as she fired a bullet at his brother.

"Nooooo..."he started to run to his brother as Tara thrown back into the wall and dean fell on the ground. he didn't know how she did manage to thrown away by firing a simple gun,he just knew he had to get to his brother so he immediately checked dean for any injures. dean's face was so pale,his eyes were closed and there were dark circles under his eyes,well it was going better than he expected consider what dean had been through. as he looked deeper in his body, he could see the bullet gazed his shoulder. it was bleeding a bit but it wasn't life threathing, he took a mental note to himself to take care of it when they got out of here_. _He was about to stood on his feet when dean stirred and opened his eyes.

Sam smiled."Hey man,you're okay?"

He coughed once."Well I can't be worse...and before you ask your brother still is hanging in there."

Sam swallowed hard."I almost forgot that you still in there,jack. I just hope..."he offered his hand to helped him to his feet as jack accepted the help gratefully and smiled."yeah, I hear you but you should thank me because I was still there long enough to save your ass back there...you know with tara.."

Sam raised his eyebrows."you did that?."

He shrugged."well...I was so angry of her and then some power inside me thrown her away."

Sam nodded."Yeah,ghosts can do that."

Jack narrowed his eyes."you sure know more things about this freaking stuff than you're saying."he shakes his head.

"Believe me,you don't wanna know...well we should getting back to the business,we don't have much time."

"No arguments with that."

Sam dropped to his knee and shook her to wake her up."Hey..wake up..hey.."

She opened her eyes and when lights started to blind her,she closed them again and that earned her more shaking from sam ."Hey don't close your eyes..not when a loaded gun is pointing on your head."that was much enough for her to open her eyes and when she did,she saw sam infront of herself and then dean was pointing a gun on her head.

She looked at dean and clenched her jaw."you have nine lives like cats, aren't you?..how did you survive anyway?"when dean didn't answer her and continued to stare blankly on her ,she moved her head to look at sam."so what?you're here for revenge..you wanna kill me?"

Sam gave her a hatefull smile."Depends...on you to cooperate with us or not.. off course I'm still thinking about it."

She snored."Come on,I can see it in your eyes...you're not a killer sam..but I can't say the same thing for your brother and since he's the one with the gun,what do you want ?"

"Where's a antidote?"

She hesitated for a sec then she laughed loudly."are you shitting with me?..you're saying you guys still didn't figure out it and Mr superman over there is still alive?"

Jack took a step toward her."well life always surprise you..you're shitting with someone someday and then someone else is starting to shit with you.."he shakes his head."what can I say,It's a small world, isn't it Tara.?"

Tara eye's widened in shock."How did you know that name?I didn't tell anyone about it except..."

"Except me..the one that you played his feeling."Jack completed the sentence for her."Surprise... Surprise..."he grinned as he opened his arms.

"No...no...It can't be..you're not him..I saw his death with my own eyes."she shakes her head in denial again and again as tears started to gather in her eyes.

"Yeah..you killed me with cold blood..you said their blood were on my hands too and now I'm going to make it right..I'm going to save the one that I can and you're going to help me with that or you're going to get a taste what the walking dead can do to a person."

When sam saw the fear in her eyes,he decided to take advantage of the situation and started talking."I know it sound crazy and unbelievable in the first view but I'm sure you know just a simple gun couldn't throw you back into the wall or that poison couldn't treat easily..you know we're not shitting with you and...if you don't start talking sooner,you will know nothing."

She swallowed a bile in her throat."I..I don't have it..I.."suddenly she jumped out from her seat when a glass Thrown to the wall and gazed her head and then she saw anger in dean's or jack's eyes."last warning..where is it?"

she held her hands in front of herself."Okay..OKay...you win..don't hurt me anymore..It's.."she sighed."It's with me.."she moved her hand to get something from his pocket when sam warned her."you don't wanna do anything stupid."

"It's in my pocket..right pocket.."she held her hand in the air."I'm not asking for any trouble..just get it out."

Sam was about to move when jack stopped him by putting a hand on his shoulder."I got it sam..I'm the one with the gun remember?..we can't take any chance."when sam nodded,he dropped to his knee and sit in front of her while looking at her fearful eyes."don't worry..I'm not gonna hurt you.."he put his hand in her pocket and take the bottle from it and then whispered in her ears."not yet."

When he stood,he could see she was shaking in fear and he smiled in satisfactions then he put a bottle in sam's hand."you got a syringe,right?"when sam nodded,he continued."okay,I'm going to watch her while you inject me with it."he put his right hand with the gun steady on tara's face."you better not move an inch or you will not move at all."tara held her hands in the air while nodded with fear.

True to be told,tara didn't dare to move at all while dean's body had been injected with the drug. after couple of minutes,sam couldn't help his worry."Is it work?

Jack nodded."I think..his heartbeat is stronger now."

Sam took a deep breath."Thank god..so he's going to be okay.?"he said with hope.

Jack smiled"I hope sam..I really do."and sam nodded."I hope too."

"Now you get a antidote,you don't need me anymore..just let me go and I promise you, I won't bother you again."that was tara's voice that bring their attention to her.

jack ignored her and looked at sam."Speaking of letting go, I think that's it sam..I have to let your brother go."

Sam nodded."Thanks..for everything...you know I can help you with your problem..."

Jack cut it off."No man.."he motioned tara with his head."I have just one unfinnished bushiness."

Tara slowly dropped her hands down."What?..what is he talking about?sam you let me go,right?"

Sam looked at her with anger."just shut up, ford..the only reason that you're still alive is because my brother that you tried to kill him had taught me not to kill humans and I'm sure I can't name you a person but for dean's sake I don't kill you this time but believe me when I'm saying if you EVER and I mean one little time I see you on my way or my brother's way, I won't hesitate to kill you with my bare hand...Am I clear?"when she nodded with fear, he turned to jack."and Jack, you're a good guy,I'm sure you'll do a right thing."

Jack smiled for the last time."Take care of your brother,sam."and without warning dean's limp body dropped in sam's arms as Sam got him with no time."I got you..I got you big brother..I got you and I never let you go."he whispered in dean's ears as he held him with his life. slowly he put dean on the ground. he just moved his gaze away from his brother's body for a second to take a quick glance on tara and he wasn't suprised when he didn't see him in her place but he knew jack was going to take care of her..I mean you couldn't hide from the angry ghost and you didn't wanna have a angry ghost on your trail so from sam's opinion, she's screwed anyway.

Sam placed his hands on dean's neck to feel his pulse. his skin was cold to touch and that scared him more that he already was. _please be there..please be there..please be there.._he placed his hand steady for a second and when he thought he couldn't feel anything,he pressed harder. finally a small and faint pulse felt and that was enough for him to take a deep breath."Thank god...Dean...oh Thank god.."he pressed his face to dean's face and whispered smoothing word to his unconscious brother.

He was like this for a minute when he felt like something was wrong.

Dean wasn't breathing.

* * *

_Only one chapter has remained..we're nearly finished._

_So what do you think?..don't forgot to share your thought with me..:)_


	9. Chapter 9

_Finally we come to the end. here's a last one ._

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**Chapter 9**

**Wait**

He lost count how many times he forced to breath for his brother or how many times put his hands on dean's chest and start compressing when his heart didn't work anymore. he lost count how many times he beg to his brother to wake up,to stay with him,to not leave him alone.

"One...two..three.."_two quick breath_"one..two..three..."_come on_"one..two...three.."_Breath.._

He just lost count..until his prayers answered by the faint breath that came from dean's mouth. "Oh thank god.."his face was wet from the tears and sweats and his hands were still shaking. he took a deep breath and placed his hands on dean's neck and when he felt a faint pulse,put his long arms around dean's chest and hugged him close to him."You're here dean..you're here..you came this far with this and you didn't give up..don't stop now.."he stayed like this for a minute when he realized dean wasn't out of the woods yet and he isn't going to if sam doesn't do anything about it.

Sam looked at closely on his brother. his face was pale..I mean so pale and he was burning up with the fever,he didn't even know how he was still alive with all the things he had been through but he didn't care..whatever it had been,sam is going to fix it.."You hear me,dean?I'm going to fix it..you just try to hang in there.."

Quickly he bring out his cellphone and dialed 911. ten minutes later there was a full activity over his brother's body. someone put a oxygen mask on dean's face, someone demanded him about what happened..someone inserted an IV in his brother's vein..and everytime he felt like this whole things were happening to him too, it was like he was the one lying on the ground with all the tubes and masks..and while it wasn't,sure felt like that too.

"Is he going to be okay?" the EMT that was helping his partner to move dean out of the ground,shakes his head."Well he's not looking good right now but we are going to do everything in our power to save him."sam swallowed hard and tried so hard not to cry when the man started talking again."we're going to general hospital, are you riding with us?"

Sam begun to nodded it when he remembered if he didn't bring impala with him,dean's going to kill him.

"No, I'm coming with my car.."he smiled a bit."I mean , it's not my car..it's my brother's car..he'll kill me if I leave his car here..you know?"

He didn't know why he explained all of this to some stranger but he couldn't stop himself and hopefully the EMT was smart enough to find out what sam was donig here. he smiled too and nodded."So he's one of the protective guys,huh?..big brother, I bet?"They put dean in the ambulance and his partner sat with dean.

This time sam couldn't stop the tears."Yeah, he's my only family..you have to save him." the EMT closed the ambulance's doors and looked at sam."I can't promise you if he's going to live or not but I promise to you he's not going to die in that ambulance..not on my watch."

Sam tried to smile a bit and nodded gratefully. The EMT pat sam on the shoulder and begun to walk away.

True to be told , dean was still alive when he had arrived to the hospital. after sam arrived, they told him dean had brought to the ICU and his doctor is going to talk to him soon. he just had to wait..wait..wait...he heard that word a lot lately..So he waited..

he waited while he was siting on the chair like he didn't know if chair get tired of him or he get tired of chair?..he waited while he was walking like the ground is going to swallow him alive any time soon..he just waited until some male and young doctor came to him with the news..

"How is he?"

"I'm doctor bean and I am attending on your brother's case form now on."sam shook his hands and asked again."How is he?"

Doctor bean sighed."When your brother had been brought here , he had a serious fever of 103..fortunately we succeed to bring the fever down..also we take care of his shoulder..it was bleeding a bit but nothing serious..but this is not that worrying me."

Sam frowned."What is it?"

"Now the fever has gone out , I hope that he'll wake up with the time..but he didn't show any sign of awareness or reaction to the lights..I did the CT scans but I didn't find anything...it was like he's in the deep sleep..like he can't wake up."

Sam's eyes widened in shock."he's in coma?"

"It's too early to says,it can be some side effects of fever or his body was weak enough to shut himself out..we just have to wait and see what's going to happen...now it's just dean's fight..he has to find his way back ...I'm so sorry I have no better news. Do you wanna see him?"

Sam was speechless. he just nodded as doctor guided him to dean's room. he took a deep breath and opened the door.

the sounds of beep beep monitor was the first thing that he noticed. then he saw a small body laying on the bed while a nasal canal help him with breathing. he wasn't needing to look again to see that was his brother's body. sam sighed heavily and sat on the chair.

"Hey man , you looked better...considering..you know?" he smiled a bit." they said nothing is wrong with you anymore...you just have to wake up, that's all...sound too easy to me...So what do you think,man?...ready to wake up from that beauty sleep?"Dean didn't move at all.

Sam sighed and was about to start talking again when his cellphone start ringing.

_"Sam , where the hell are you?you should be here by now."_

"Bobby..I'm sorry I couldn't call sooner..there were things came up."

_"What kind of things?..what did you do , you idjit ?"_

"Um..Bobby...something tried to kill dean as none supernatural thing.."

_"And?"_

"He's still alive if that's what you're asking."

_"Thanks Goodness."_

"But they said he's in coma...doctors can't figure out why."

_"You think something supernatural should be behind of it , after all?"_

"I don't know what I have to know anymore..I..."Sam closed his eyes. he felt so useless.

_"I dig around to see if I can find something...Don't worry, Sam..your brother is stubborn enough to not giving in so easily..he's gonna wake up."_

"Yeah..thanks Bobby."he closed his cellphone and took a deep breath. Suddenly he was feeling so cold and start shivering. he raised from his seat and looked around but didn't find anything. he decided to put salt around dean's bed just in case, he wasn't taking any chance not when his brother was in this vulnerable state so he took out salt from his pocket and started to put a salt circle around dean's bed.

"I don't think that was necessary."

Sam's eye widened and quickly turned around to see jack's ghost was looking at him."Hey sam."

Sam frowned."Jack..what are you doing here?"

Jack shrugged."I'm a ghost..I can be anywhere...So How's dean? he's looking better."

Sam mocked him."Yeah, he's looking so much better except he simply can't wake up."

Jack looked at him with sympathy."Sam, his body had been through a lot..you can't expect a full recovery in a day."

sam whispered as he looked at dean."I just want him to wake up."

He sighed."I hope I could help you with that...But have faith,sam..he's still alive so that's something."he cleared his throat."any way, I'm here to say goodbye to you..I can't stay here forever like this..I have to move on."

Sam rasied his eyebrow."You mean you took care of your unfinished business?"

He chuckled."Revenge sounds good..but I couldn't do that."

"You let her go?"Sam said with anger.

"Sam , I'm no killer..she did a terrible thing and I'm sure it will bring to her someday..nothing in this world stay without a answer. you said yourself that you were so cut up with your needing for revenge that you forgot about something more valuable..I can't let myself to become something like this..I have to move on..It's a only way that I can rest in peace."

Sam nodded."You did a right thing jack..I just..I..If dean was here, he teared me apart because I didn't stop you from killing her."

Jack smiled."I'm sure he did.."he approached the bed and put his hand on dean's shoulder."You have to stay strong, dean winchester."

Sam's eye widened in shock."How did you know our last name?"

Jack smiled for the last time."Goodbye sam."and then he vanished.

Sam looked around to see if he was still out here but he found none. he sighed and dropped to his seat. he pressed his hands to his eyes and started to shake his head. when he opened his eyes again , he saw dean's eyes were open and were looking at him.

"Dean?..oh my god...Dean?.."sam raised from his seat and sat on the bed. Dean just blinked but didn't say any things..suddenly some horrible thought came to sam's mind that what if it wasn't dean again?what if something else was in his body?

"Dean..tell me you're in there man...I can't take it anymore.."

Dean blinked again and frowned."Who else would it be...bitch?"

Sam laughed..he actually laughed for the long time."Oh man..It's so nice to see you again..you nearly give me a heart attack..you jerk.."

Dean coughed once..his throat was so dry..he was about to ask for water when sam got the message and gave him a drink..he accepted the water gratefully and drink some of it."What happened?"

"It's a long story..what did you remember?"

"Not much..I remember that doctor bitch tried to kill me..and.."he frowned."I think she did.."his eyes widened in shock."Sam, did I die?..I don't remember I had been in hell again."

"You came so close..but no,you didn't, thank god..it's a...it's a long story...and you think if you die they bring you back to hell?...Dean,you're a good man,a better man than me or our dad..you don't deserve hell and you never will."Sam tried to reason with him.

"You know,you had to tell me the whole story soon or later..I mean with details..I hope hot nurse were involved."Dean smiled but like always tried to change the subject, tried to hide his feeling. sam got the message but he didn't push him anymore. he just want to enjoy the moment.

"So what happened for the doctor bitch?"Dean asked.

Sam pressed his lips together."I don't know..I just hope she burn in hell."

Dean raised his eyebrows."You mean, you didn't kill her already?"

Sam grinned."I'm thinking about it.."He frowned."What's her problem with you, anyway?"

Dean yawned."I tell you when you tell me your story...remember...detail..."and then his eyes were closed against his will.

Sam smiled to his sleeping brother."You just promise to wake up again and I'll tell you a story every night."

* * *

Tara put her last cloth in her bags. she couldn't stay in her house anymore. she has to leave before zombie jack or the police got her in the trouble. she was about to leave when some voice froze her in her place.

"You're leaving without saying goodbye?..what's your manners,girl?"

Tara turned around to see who was standing in front of her. That was Mr Walker..the one who gave her money to kill dean winchester.

"How did you get here?I locked the door pretty well."

"let's say, The old man still knows how to break the lock..any way I have a question for you." he screamed."why dean winchester is still alive?"

Her eyes widened in shock."I did what you ask me to. I swear..I killed jack too..but his ghost came after me..he was wearing dean's body..you must think I'm losing my mind but it's true..I see it with my own eyes..just please give me another chance and I'll finish the job..please."

Mr walker nodded."I believe you."Tara smiled when suddenly her eyes widened as her neck broke. she was dead before she hit the ground.

He grinned."I see you in hell Tara..maybe I even give you that chance on there..but first things first, I want my great student back."

Alastair smiled as he left the place.

**The End**

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I want to thank you to all who have stayed with me so far and to all great reviews that gave me a motive to keep going.

I hope you enjoyed the story :)

minank


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